Differences in Responses to Incompatibility

So one thing that I found really interesting this week in or class discussions was how the differences in responses to incompatibility in a marriage can impact the quality of a marriage and impact its ability to last. We discussed how couples who are heading towards divorce have around 10 areas of significant incompatibility between them and their partner. We then talked about how couples who are doing well and are happy in their marriage have around 10 areas of significant incompatibility between them and their partner. That's right, those couples who are heading towards divorce and those that are happy and doing well in their marriage both have around 10 areas of significant incompatibility. You would think that those who are happy in their marriages would have fewer areas of incompatibility. But this isn't always true!
I found this very interesting, and wondered how this could be true. But then we talked about how the difference is how each couple responds to these areas of incompatibility. Generally those couples that are happy and doing well are accepting and accommodating of one another's differences. They make adjustments and accommodations where needed, which allows them to find happiness and success in marriage despite areas of incompatibility. Meanwhile those who are headed toward divorce are unable or unwilling to make accommodations and adjustments that would benefit their marital satisfaction.
I really enjoyed this discussion because it allowed me to see that it really depends on how we respond to our areas of incompatibility with others that determines whether we will experience happiness and success in marriage or if we will head towards divorce. I can't wait to see what next week has in store!
(And mid-term week has officially ended, so the semester is halfway over! Woo!)