Dating vs. Hanging Out

This week in my Family Relations class we have been talking about dating and relationships. In today's class we talked a lot about dating vs. hanging out. As we talked about what dating really is, we talked about the 3 P's of dating, which are: (1) Planned; (2) Paired Off; and (3) Paid For. I thought that this was really interesting because I had never heard of the 3 P's of dating before. I knew that there was a difference between going on dates and just hanging out, but I didn't really know what exactly counted as a date. So talking about this was very helpful to me as I learned what counts as a date.
Another thing that I found interesting in our discussion today was some of the reasons that people choose not to date. One reason that I found really intriguing was that many people have extremely high expectations that make it very hard for them to find people who they will even consider going on dates with. They have this vision of the perfect person to go on dates with, and anyone that falls short of their expectations is not worthy to be asked on a date by that individual. Another reason was that there are some individuals who are in the "race to commitment". This means that these individuals who are in this race to commitment are viewing dating only as a way of finding a mate. This can cause difficulties when the two individuals going on the date together have different expectations; one may be looking for someone to commit to while the other individual is simply going on dates to have fun and explore their options. The individual wanting to commit to someone then may decide that they don't want to date others because they think that other individuals aren't wanting to commit to them. The last reason that we discussed was this idea of how many are in the dating game just to find a mate. They don't look at dating as a way of getting to know people, having fun, and exploring their options, but instead view dating as the way to finding their mate in life. This can cause people to postpone dating if they feel like they aren't ready to fully commit to someone, or once again it can lead to challenges when the two individuals going on dates together have different expectations in regards to dating.
This week's class has been really interesting to me and I can't wait to see what is in store!

Gender Roles in Society

So this week we have been talking a lot about gender roles in our society and how they affect the ways that males and females act and interact with each other. One thing that I found really interesting was how the majority of the gender roles given in society come from the way that society thinks that males and females should act. It also influences the activities that each gender participates in. Some of the typical gender roles given to males are that they are the ones who work outside; they work with cars and work in the garden and take care of things outside of the house. Men are also given the role of typically taking care of the budget in the family. With women, they are typically given the role of working inside of the house and taking care of things inside of the house; they cook, clean, and take care of the children inside of the house. But just because society has specified each gender as having specific roles, this doesn't mean that they can't take on other roles besides the ones that society has deemed acceptable for them. I believe that men and women have divine and specific qualities that help them to be successful in certain roles, but each gender can learn to be successful in other roles as well.
One other thing that I really found interesting is that a lot of these roles deemed appropriate by society for each gender come from the way that we respond to each gender's actions and behaviors. We tend to show negative responses to boys who play with dolls, like to dance, and be creative. We see these actions and behaviors as things that are "girly" or feminine actions and behaviors, and then we negatively respond to these actions to show them that these actions and behaviors are not appropriate for them to be involved in.
It has really been interesting seeing how many of the gender roles found in society come about, and how these gender roles influence the behaviors and actions that are deemed acceptable and unacceptable by society.

Cultures and the Impacts on Family

So this week we have talked a lot about how differences in cultures can cause different lifestyles within families. One thing that I really liked was how we talked about every single family has their own specific culture, or their own traditions, beliefs, and ways of doing things. And as we look at the various cultures in the families around us, we can see how these different cultures produce different ways of living and different ways of being in individuals. I think it is important that we understand that different cultures don't always come from different geographical areas or different human races; instead different cultures come from the differences in beliefs, traditions, and ways of life no matter who we are or where we come from. The way that my family does something may be completely different from the way my next door neighbors do things, and this is because we all have different cultures within our own family systems.
Along with this idea of cultures, I think it is important that we treat all cultures with respect. This doesn't mean that we have to accept the customs and traditions of these other cultures as our own, but we need to be respectful of each individual's culture. If we want others to be respectful of our culture, we must be respectful of theirs as well.
This Family Relations class has been really interesting so far! I am really looking forward to learning more and hearing what everyone else has to say :)

Unspoken Rules in Families

I have learned so much this past week about families, and I am so excited about the information we are learning! One topic that we discussed this week was how in almost every family, there are unspoken rules. These aren't the typical rules that a lot of families have posted somewhere in their homes, but instead are specific rules that apply directly to that specific family. And most of the time these rules are not directly laid out at first; instead, we learn these rules through experiences we encounter within our family. We had the opportunity to look at our own families and share some of the unspoken rules that our families had. At first I didn't really think my family had any, but after thinking about it for a little while, I actually found some of these unspoken rules within my own family.
For example, one of my family's unspoken rules is that you don't eat anything without asking first. I learned this rule through experience. Before I knew that you don't eat things without asking first, I would eat what looked good and then sometimes get in trouble for eating something that I wasn't supposed to eat. We were taught to ask before eating things because certain foods could be needed for certain occasions, or maybe it was food that was going to be for a later meal. So in my family, you need to ask before eating the food.
Another unspoken rule that I discovered within my family was when Dad wants to watch something on TV, you either watch what he is watching or you don't watch the TV at all. So when my Dad would come home, we knew that we would have to watch what he wanted to watch if we were going to be watching TV. Sometimes we would hide the remote and claim to not know where it was, but in the end, the channel got turned to what he wanted to watch.
It was really interesting to look at these various unspoken rules within different classmates' families, and how each family has different rules, and even some of the same rules. I am looking forward to seeing what unspoken rules my future family will have; it will definitely be interesting to see what happens!

Trends Found in the Family

So this past week in Brother Williams class has been great! Just a little side note, I love the fact that he says "groovy" when he is talking with us! And I love how fun and exciting he is making the class! One of the most interesting things that I learned this week was about the various trends that occur within the family. The ones that we listed include:

• Marriage is occurring later (typically 26 for females, 28 for males).
• Cohabitation is increasing (it is between 60% and 80% now).
• Living alone has increased (due to divorce, personal choice, never marrying, etc.).
• Employed mothers are becoming more common (with children under the age of 6).
• Births to unmarried women are increasing (39.5% of births are to unmarried women).
• There are less births.
• The belief that family life is important is increasing.
• Premarital sex is increasing.
• The average household size is decreasing.

When we were discussing these trends that are taking place in families today, one thing that really caught my attention was how a lot of these trends are connected to one another. For example, because people are generally getting married at later ages, this causes there to be less births because as women get older, they decrease their likelihood of having children. Another example could be that because premarital sex is increasing, there is a chance that those unmarried women are having children. As we closely analyze and look at each trend occurring within the family, we can see how they are all interconnected and work together. I think it is important that we understand how these trends and factors are effecting our families and how we view families in general. 

While one of the trends notes that the belief that family life is important is increasing, there are still many individuals who don't necessarily view families as something that is important. I strongly believe in the value and importance of family life, and I think it is important that we teach our families, especially our children, how important families really are. If we don't teach them the importance of families, who will? 

I am so excited about the things we have been learning in this Family Relations class so far, and I can't wait to learn even more and share it with all of you!