Coming Together in Marriage

So this was the last week of my Family Relations class here at BYU-Idaho, and one of the things that I really enjoyed learning about was the reality of marriage and how two people come together to make something wonderful and magical. As an example our teacher provided us with the example of the song titled "Love Story meets Viva La Vida" composed by the musical artists known as The Piano Guys. At the end of this blog post I have attached the link so that if you would like to you can view the video. But in this song it provides a great example of how to individuals with two different talents and abilities come together to make a successful and wonderful creation, in this case it is the beautiful song that is composed. In marriage you take two individuals that have different qualities, traits, and characteristics, and with work and effort, these two individuals are able to make their marriage a wonderful and cherished event. The song took a lot of work and effort in order for it to turn out as great as it did; it wasn't something that just came easy. The same thing occurs in marriage; in order for it to work and turn out great, there must be work and effort put in by both of the individuals within the marriage.

Another lesson that can be learned from this song by The Piano Guys is that at the beginning it is the song "Love Story" which is a soft, sweet song where everything is happy and love is plentiful. But then they switch to the song "Viva La Vida" which means "Living Life". Everyone views marriage as something blissful, sweet, and wonderful, but then they realize that after a while it's not just all lovey-dovey and magical, but life occurs and we have to live life. And then usually we see at the end of marriage when the couple becomes older, they go back to the love story of marriage where everything is wonderful and magical like it was in the beginning, just like the song ends with "Love Story". But this song has many high and low tempos, and this can relate to marriage as there are ups and downs in marriage as well. But without these highs and lows, marriage would be somewhat boring if it was just the same thing over and over again; the same thing happens with the song because without the changes in the tempo, the music would be very monotone and somewhat boring. I have really enjoyed this class and hope to continue learning about families as I continue on in life.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dE4rhONTGyM

The Importance of Allowing Natural Consequences to Teach Our Children

In this week's class discussions, one of the things that stood out the most to me was how as parents, it is important for us to allow the natural consequences of our children's behaviors and actions to teach them rather than us trying to interfere with these natural consequences. At first I was thinking that the reason that many times parents interfere with the natural consequences of their child's actions and behaviors is because they want to rescue their child from being potentially embarrassed or emotionally hurt. But when parents interfere with the natural consequences of their children's choices, they are denying their children the opportunity to learn important and vital lessons that can help them learn important information for their future decisions in life. I strongly believe that parents should allow the natural consequences of their child's behavior and actions to teach their children.
There are some exceptions to this idea though; parents should allow the natural consequences to teach their children except in the following three situations:

1. The natural consequences are too dangerous;
2. The natural consequences are too far into the future;
3. Others are adversely affected by the natural consequences.

If parents interfere with the natural consequences in other situations that do not fit into the three situations listed above, the parents are likely to be denying their children the important life learning lessons that accompany these natural consequences. I have a couple examples of my own in regards to this; when I was in high school, I didn't really like talking on the phone unless I was talking with my friends. Every time that I needed to call someone other than my friends, I would ask my mom to call them for me, whether it was my boss, a store to ask them a question, or my high school teachers or staff members. There were times that my mom would call for me if I was busy doing something else, but for the most part she would make me call them no matter how much I didn't want to be the one to call them. Because my mom had me call people that I needed to talk to in order to get certain information, I learned how to properly and effectively communicate with people over the phone, and I am no longer afraid or reluctant to call people and talk to them. If my mom would have just called everyone for me, she would have denied me the opportunity to learn how to appropriately communicate with individuals over the phone, and it is likely that I would still ask her to call people for me. I am glad that my mom allowed the natural consequences to teach me the importance of calling people on my own; without it, I don't think I would be as comfortable talking on the phone as I am.

Another example that I have experienced, especially being here at college, is financing and budgeting my money. When I first started attending college I didn't have a job; I mostly relied on my savings and the money that I saved from my previous job back home. Coming from a very small town where the closest store is an hour away, I never really had too many opportunities to spend money. So when I came to college and there were stores all around me, I didn't really know how to effectively budget my money. I remember calling home to my parents and asking them if they could transfer some money into my account so I had more money to spend, and if I really needed it they would, but many of the times they told me that I needed to learn how to budget my money. They gave me $50.00 a week, and I had to learn how to budget it effectively in order to make it last and get the things I really needed. If I ran out of money, I knew that I wasn't going to get any more until the next week. At first I was really bad with budgeting, but after a couple weeks I got the hang of it and I did really well. Although it was hard at first, the natural consequences of running out of money and not having any until the next week taught me the importance of budgeting my money. If my parents would have just given me more and more money, I wouldn't have learned the important and vital lesson of saving and budgeting money. After my first year of school I got a job, and because I had learned the lesson of budgeting money effectively, I was able to appropriately save, budget, and spend my money. If I hadn't learned that lesson, I am sure I would still be struggling with budgeting my money. So I am definitely grateful that my parents allowed the natural consequences to teach me important life lessons. 

Even though it may be hard to watch your children struggle at times, it is important that we allow the natural consequences to teach our children; it is from these natural consequences that they learn some of the most beneficial and important lessons of life. There are some circumstances that natural consequences should be interfered with, but for the most part, we as parents need to allow these natural consequences to teach our children important lessons in life.

How Work Early On Can Prepare Us for Work Later On

In this week's class we talked a lot about the impact that work can have on families. One thing that had a lot of meaning for me was how work early on, whether it's through household chores or an actual job, can prepare us for work later on in life as adults. As I have looked at my own experiences, I agree; work early on does prepare us for work later on in life. When I first attended college, I was living on my own with roommates that I had never known before for the first time. But because I had taken care of household chores previous to going to college, I knew how to take care of myself and do the things that needed to be done around the apartment to keep things functioning. The experiences that I had earlier in life, such as the household chores of washing dishes, doing laundry, sweeping, mopping, etc. had prepared me to accomplish these tasks when I was living on my own. Living on my own at college I was able to appreciate the lessons that work early on had provided me with that allowed me to be prepared for the work that would lie ahead of me once I was living on my own. Looking back, I am grateful for my parents teaching me the importance of doing chores and having me do work around the house; without it I may not have been able to work effectively and take care of necessary things when I was out on my own later on.
Another experience that I have had with this topic is in regards to the actual jobs that I had while I was still living at home with my parents. Before attending college, I had summer jobs in my hometown, whether it was doing yard work, cooking, babysitting, or staining porches and decks. Through these experiences I was able to learn the importance of work and what it took to make work more effective for me. I learned what work tactics worked best for me, and how to get jobs and tasks done efficiently in a timely manner. Once I moved away and began college, I was able to get a job working in a retail store in the town I attend college in. Because of the previous experiences I had working before I went to college, I was able to know how to work effectively in this job that I had later on in college. I knew how to work effectively with my managers, how to complete tasks in a timely manner, and also I learned how to work effectively in a work environment. If I hadn't had those previous experiences with work while I was living at home, going to work at college would have been a lot harder for me and it would have been more of a challenge learning how to work effectively in my job later on in college. Because of my experiences, I strongly believe that work early on prepares us for the work that we will do later on in life as adults.